On being an ‘out’ blogger

I’ve been at this blogging lark for a couple of months now, and so far I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the trip. I’ve always gained pleasure from writing, even fairly mundane work-based stuff, but for the last few years it feels like the only written work I have produced has been endless variations on lists – shopping lists, to-do lists, packing lists, Christmas present lists…see, I can’t help myself, I’m even making a list of lists!

It’s been great to write in full sentences and stretch my brain a little – writing blog posts, even quite humble ones, is an exercise not only in getting the words out, but in making them (hopefully) engaging enough that others will want to read them too. I’ve enjoyed crafting and editing my posts to try and achieve ‘readability’ – and I’ve been really chuffed to get some positive feedback from folk who’ve been unlucky enough to stumble across LearnerMother while googling for something entirely different, and probably much more fun.

So – blogging – pretty much all good from my end. Except for one thing that didn’t even really occur to me when I started out – that by being an ‘out’ blogger, there is a lot of stuff I can’t really write about. And I mean an awful lot, really. Out of respect for the Husband, I don’t feel that I can rant about his million and one shortcomings (THAT WAS A JOKE, HUSBAND); obviously talking about my job in anything other than the most general terms is a no go; if I had a grumble – or even just something I wanted to work through – about something that happens in my kids’ school, then I have to be aware that as an ‘out’ blogger in a close local community, there is a chance that school staff and/or parents will read what I have written. And that’s before we even get on to wider family – like every family in the world there is blogging GOLD in our history and our interactions with each other…the vast majority of which remains off limits.

I don’t know how I feel about this really. It’s not that I am teeming with negative thoughts that I’m desperate to throw out there, and to be honest I think a blog full of ranty thoughts could get quite boring quite quickly. (Unless you do it brilliantly, like The Kraken Wakes – now there’s a lady that does ranting with style!)  It’s just that if I was blogging anonymously, there would be a lot more stuff I could work through by writing about it. And yes, I know that I could write posts that I don’t publish but a)I’m such a muppet that I’d probably hit publish by accident and b)call me vain, but writing isn’t as much fun if you know nobody’s going to read it!

I’d really like to hear from other bloggers who are in this situation. Do you just ‘publish and be damned’? Or are you anonymous and constantly worrying that you’ll be outed? Has blogging caused you any problems through people you know reading? Any advice? I’m all ears!!

ps  Being ‘out’ is not all bad. Having a large and twitter-savvy family has probably tripled my reader numbers to at least double figures.



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8 thoughts on “On being an ‘out’ blogger

  1. Hi I had this exact dilemma when I first started writing but as I hold down a respectable job and as my blog can be slightly risqué I decided to create a whole character thus keeping my anonymity. It has made me more confident to publicise etc as it is my project and not really me. I don’t share this info with many though and this message will self destruct in 10 seconds. Thanks for following.

  2. How about creating your doppelgänger blogger, who writes all the really naughty and subversive stuff! Your posts are great reading regardless, funny and thought-provoking. I’m really enjoying it!

    1. I have been thinking about that, and people would have a secret password to get in, ha! And maybe would have to pay me chocolate as a sort of entry fee. ..Or maybe I’ll just wait till I’m 80 or something and nobody can be offended because I’m so old and losing my marbles, and then I can write whatever the hell I want!!

      Ps thank you for saying nice things :))

  3. I set up new email account etc in my dog’s name so I could be ‘independent’ when I started SubScribe, but was outed by a well-meaning friend on the first post, so I know what you mean. Presumably the husband knows you are blogging, and knows the things he does that rankle. If so, don’t be shy about using anecdotes, I’m sure you
    ‘Ll keep it light and not turn into a ranting harridan. Just keep the bedroom secrets secret, all power to your pen, best, l

    1. Oops! That’s part of what puts me off going undercover – I’d just spend all my time stressing about being found out! And with three kids there is not nearly as much time as I’d like for bedroom secrets, heh!

  4. I am anonymous. I need to be, as I am blogging about splitting up from my husband, having an affair, the pain I caused my children, current boyfriends…and I haven’t even sorted out a financial settlement yet with my ex! So need to be covert. Was also aware of the embarrassment that it could cause my kids if word got out.

    However, a consequence of this is that the blog is difficult to promote. I can’t even tell my closest friends! So I rely on good ol’ Google to do the promotion for me. I get an awful lot of Serbian readers, for some reason….

    1. Quite a lot going on then! Blogging anonymously must be incredibly liberating, your own private space where you can say what you want to and need to. Do you ever worry that someone you know will stumble across it by accident? That’s what would freak me out…

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