How did I get here? To actually creating a personal blog – that thing I’ve been meaning to do for years, but never somehow finding the time, or – more truthfully – worrying about putting myself out there.
Well, how I came to be here, now, involves another family’s sadness – and their hope. I was having one of those days where nothing I do as a mother seems quite right, and as I do quite often when I’m in that mood, I dip in and out of other parent blogs. Partly because I usually find something to make me smile; and often, I find a new way of thinking about a problem I’m having with my kids.
On this occasion I stumbled over Jennie Edspire’s blog – just as she and her family were coming to terms with the loss of their baby Matilda Mae from SIDS. I have no words to describe the journey that Jennie’s family are taking – enough to say, really, that no parent or sibling should have to go through it.
One thing that really struck me though, is that by blogging, Jennie has created such a lovely memory box for her and her family. Such a beautiful reminder of the youngest member of the Edspire family – and all the more important for the fact that Matilda Mae’s siblings are not yet three. Whenever they want to, or need to, they will be able to return to their memories of Matilda Mae. They will be able to revisit their thoughts, feelings, and memories both happy and sad, and will have a record of their journey as a family.
So that’s what did it really. I want to give my kids the gift that Jennie has given hers. A record of our family as it grows, and learns, and lives and loves. I do not know where this blog will go, or if I will be any good at it, or if anyone will read it…I don’t really mind, in fact. As long as I create something that is of value for my kids, when they want to remember their story, that is good enough for me.