On Friday, I’m doing something that I feel a bit – a lot – weird about. I’m getting on a plane without my kids! My friend and fellow blogger BeachLifeEtc and I are going to Northern Ireland to visit another friend for the weekend. No kids, no partners – we have arranged this weekend for no other reason but that we fancy doing it.
I don’t feel weird about going away without my kids – wider family commitments have taken me away quite a lot over the last year. They didn’t like it much at first but understood the reasons for me going, and got used to having lots of bonus Daddy time.
This time, my going away has been a bit more tricky to explain – I had a chat with my daughter last week that went something like this…
‘So who are you going to visit, Mum?’
‘Two old friends who I don’t see enough of’
‘Oh – what’s wrong with them, are they ill?’
‘No…’
‘Is one of them having a baby and needs some help, then?’
‘Err…no’ (at least I flipping hope not – there is Guinness to be drunk in Ireland you know!)
‘Oh, I know, is it another one of those fewn-fewl-foon – well, you know those things you have when people die?’
‘No sweetheart, it’s not a funeral’.
Silence. Then,
‘So if you don’t need to help anyone and there are no babies and nobody is dead, why are you going away then?’ *Hard stare*
OH THE GUILT….
My rational head tells me that I need this, that I deserve it even. I know that making an effort to have a break every now and then, and do something for ME will make me a better mother.
I also know that friendships deserve time and effort. To be brutally honest, my efforts at being a friend have been on hold to a greater or lesser extent while I have navigated the last few years. Either because my friends have kids themselves and are in the same boat, or because they don’t and therefore I’ve felt far too boring and frumpy and kid-wrung-out to have the confidence to pick up the phone.
And guess what – I still feel kidknackered, boring and frumpy – but that isn’t going to change any time soon unless I make an effort to bring some non-child fun into my life, and I think it’s about time I girded my loins and did just that. So here’s to friends and seeing a bit more of them!
Oh…still here? Well done, I always thought most people gave up half way through. Anyway, since you ARE still here, and if you’ve got nothing better to do, I’d absolutely love it if you felt that LearnerMother was worthy of a nomination for ‘Best New Blog’ in the MAD Blog Awards….THANK YOU!
Fantastic post, I understand how you feel, I feel quilt any time I do something without kids, and that’s not often. Fo for it on behalf of saddo mums like me , enjoy and have a Guinness for me.
Thank you! And a Guinness you say? Oh, go on then…
We all deserve a break every now and then. I hope you have a great weekend!
Amelia Appletree recently posted…Review: City of Zombies
Thank you! Hope you’re enjoying Get Bit 🙂
Oh have plenty of fun..and Guinness! My two are still too young for me to leave them more than a couple of hours but every mum definitely deserves some me time without the guilt!
I will indeed. I might start practising on the Guinness now…
LearnerMother recently posted…I’m getting on a plane (without my kids!)
Good for you! I just booked a baby and husband free holiday for November to Marrakech. I feel guilty already but know that by the time November rolls around my daughter will be 17 months old and I will need a break from the chasing and picking food up off the floor. Plus my MIL apparently WANTS to have her for a week! ha!
Enjoy Ireland!
Lauren recently posted…A catch up and new start…
Wow – a week – lucky you! Make the most of it while you’ve just got the one – it gets much more difficult to find willing volunteers when there are more of the little critters!
LearnerMother recently posted…I’m getting on a plane (without my kids!)
i don’t think i’d even be able to get on a plane, i’ve never been on one before! i hope you have a nice time though, and maybe you can bring the kids a treat back with you so you don’t feel quite so guilty!
laura redburn recently posted…fashion & blogging from USA with kailey from mermaidens
I have to say, the getting on a plane bit is the bit I am least looking forward to :/
LearnerMother recently posted…Silent Sunday 23.02.14
I hope you have a wonderful time and yes, you do need it! x
Keri-Anne recently posted…Let’s have an adventure link up IIII
Thank you Keri – don’t we all!
LearnerMother recently posted…Silent Sunday 23.02.14
This really made me laugh…children really know how to make us feel REALLY guilty for anything we do that doesn’t involve them 100% don’t they?! (oh for some guinness-on-my-own time!!)
Globalmouse recently posted…What My Children Say About….Lapland
Oh, don’t they just…and the guilt conversations are getting more frequent as Friday gets closer!
LearnerMother recently posted…Silent Sunday 23.02.14
Reading this so reminds me of Aaron. He is very literal. I know it is not the same circumstances but he asked me the other day who was coming to visit. He couldn’t understand that I would tidy the kitchen just because it needed doing he was convinced someone would be coming over – I know that reflects badly on me oooops!
You go, and enjoy your Guinness. I am Irish and a BIG fan of the black stuff although if you go to the Guinness brewery you’ll find out it’s not black – you probably know that already.
Have fun!
Liska x
Liska @NewMumOnline recently posted…The Quest for the Right Vitamin Water – not all Vitamin Waters are created equal
Hahaha I can kind of relate to the tidying the kitchen question, for ALL the wrong reasons!
LearnerMother recently posted…Silent Sunday 23.02.14
I think it’s good to to things by ourselves at times – especially taking time to cultivate friendships, instead of always being ‘just mum’ (as rewarding a job as it is). A well earned Guinness after the attack of the guilts though me’thinks
Vicky (@aroundandupsidedown) recently posted…OOTD: Long Dress Denim Jacket and Biker Boots – Wheelchair Fashion – Mainstream Grunge
You’re right – it can’t be a good role model or the kids to see their Mum having no friends at all – you see, I’M DOING IT FOR THEM!
LearnerMother recently posted…I’m getting on a plane (without my kids!)
This sounds very familiar! I don’t know why we should feel guilty about having a little break every now and again – my husband never feels guilty about booking time away! Go and enjoy yourself – I’m sure you will come back a new woman (at least for a day or two!).
Mummy of Two recently posted…A lovely new raincoat from Lovably Me
Thank you – I will indeed. Enjoy myself, that is. And cross my fingers for the new woman bit!
LearnerMother recently posted…Silent Sunday 23.02.14
Good for you! And too right you deserve it – there’s Guinness to be quaffed and craic to be had! Enjoy 😀
MummyNeverSleeps recently posted…All the Small Things #6
Thank you Cas! And I will be quaffing, believe you me!!
LearnerMother recently posted…I’m getting on a plane (without my kids!)
I need to work some non child time into my life. I think it is really important to retain a sense of self. Well done for doing something for yourself, despite the guilt x
YouBabyMeMummy recently posted…Introducing my BritMums Live 2014 sponsor
Thank you…I am sitting on the guilt and squashing it really, REALLY tiny. Though I imagine a couple of Guinnesses will make it go away altogether!
LearnerMother recently posted…I’m getting on a plane (without my kids!)
You are going to have a brilliant and well deserved weekend and it will be well worth it. Don’t feel guilty it’s exciting although I understand the mum guilt and that you will probably check on them more than you should whilst away 😀 Have a great time! x
Hannah Clementson recently posted…Knocking down the Jungle Pals
I did in fact have a brilliant time, just what the doctor ordered – in fact we are planning the next one already!
LearnerMother recently posted…Silent Sunday 23.02.14
Ooh, what fun (slightly envious!). Enjoy yourself:) #blogclub
vicky myers recently posted…Tweed skirt upcycled into a bag
We did – it was fab! AND we talked about making skirts into bags after your fab post!
LearnerMother recently posted…The Husband was right…
I’m sure that you will have a fantastic time, have a Guinness or two for me please #blogclub
Me_andthe_tiny3 recently posted…Window Blind Safety #infographic
I might have had one. Or two. Or possibly a few more…but only because you told me to!
LearnerMother recently posted…The Husband was right…
Oh I hope you have an amazing time! Mother guilt is a terrible thing but try not to let it get to you and just have some fun 🙂
Not jealous much 😉
Sonia recently posted…Celebrate Mothers Day with Royal Albert
We had fun and fresh air, guinness and giggles – it was lush!
LearnerMother recently posted…The Husband was right…
Have a fab weekend!! #blogclub
Laura recently posted…Word of the Week
We did! Thank you!
LearnerMother recently posted…The Husband was right…
Have a great time! We’re going away and leaving the three children with my mum and dad in May for 2 nights. This will be the first time we’ve left the twins who are now 2! I’m feeling both excited and nervous. Hope you have a great time x #blogclub
I am sure you’ll have a brilliant time – and I bet the twins and your Mum will too! Have a great trip, will look forward to reading about it 🙂
LearnerMother recently posted…The Husband was right…
Sounds divine, welcome to Northern Ireland, hope you enjoy the craic and the beer!
Thank you – I enjoyed both! Such a beautiful part of the world, you’re very lucky to live there all the time!
LearnerMother recently posted…I’m getting on a plane (without my kids!)
Oh brilliant, have a wonderful time! It’s important to make ‘me’ time and I’ll be organising some of my own this year..bring it on!
MrsShilts recently posted…First Birthday gift ideas | Little Mr’s birthday presents
We did – and you’re right, a little ‘me’ tie has set me up for the next few months! Hope you enjoy yours!
LearnerMother recently posted…The Husband was right…
Enjoy! I know it’s not easy, Mother guilt, we all have it at some point, goes with the territory. Have a Guinness for us!
Mother Guilt disappears with enough Guinness, I’ve found :/
LearnerMother recently posted…The Husband was right…
I am very jealous! Hope you are having a wonderful time 🙂 #blogclub
Jo @ 3 Kids and a Gluestick recently posted…RHS Wisley, migraines and more illness
It was fantastic, thank you! Hope your littlies didn’t succumb to poorliness in the end!
LearnerMother recently posted…The Husband was right…
Aaah I NEED to do this! I haven’t been away without the children for the last five years, since I became pregnant with Austin. I hope you had a fantastic time and drank lots of the (liquid) brown stuff!
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