When a child is overtaken by a younger sibling

As soon as I came in from work today, my daughter grabbed my hand and led me to the kitchen where the Husband was cooking tea.

‘Mummy and Daddy, I have something very important to tell you! I did reading in school today and my teacher moved me up TWO reading stages! She said I was a reading superstar!’

This is such lovely news for my daughter, who has developed a real love of reading over the  last few months, and who has been trying very hard with her books, and at school generally. I’m so proud of her, and so happy to see her so proud of herself – she really deserves it.

I just wish my delight for her wasn’t tempered with the worry for what this will mean for my biggest boy’s confidence – because she’s basically leapfrogged him. He’s been stuck on the same reading stage since June, despite doing a huge amount of reading over the Summer holidays, and now he’s a stage behind his younger sister – who is two years below him at school. Seeing his face crumple as she bounced around the kitchen was just heartbreaking. All the more so because although she has worked hard, he has without doubt put a lot more time into practising his reading.

We’ve obviously had a family chat this evening about how some people are good at some things, and some at others, and that’s the way things should be because we can’t have a world filled with engineers but nobody to be a pilot, or super duper rugby players but nobody to be a teacher, etc etc. But despite a wobbly brave face from him after the initial shock, it’s just another confidence knock on top of the many he’s already taken since starting this school year.

As well as being gutted for him, I’m feeling particularly let down because I raised this specific scenario with school a couple of months ago, knowing that it was a probability in the near future and knowing what it would do to his confidence. I asked for extra Welsh reading books that my son and I could read together and was told that we could not have them because ‘if you get extra books, everyone else might want one too’. Really? REALLY? Instead it was suggested that I could get Welsh books from the library for him, which would be great if a) the library had a decent selection of Welsh books, which it doesn’t, and b) Welsh wasn’t my second language by a long chalk, making it fairly difficult for me to pick up a reading book and gauge whether it’s at the right level, or likely to be of interest for an eight year old reluctant reader. Which is why I’d wanted reading books from school rather than sourcing them myself in the first place.

So. A mixture of emotions. Chuffed for my girl, gutted for my biggest boy, and frankly pissed off that even though I could see this coming and asked for help, there was no support to even try and stave it off.

Parenting is hard, sometimes.

 

Is an iPod Touch suitable for an 8 year old?

Is an iPod Touch suitable for an 8 year old? In my heart of hearts, I really don’t think so. I’d much rather see him playing with friends, or toys, or reading books. However I have to accept that what I see as age appropriate is a reflection of the fact that I grew up a generation ago, when a Merlin was the most threatening piece of electronic gadgetry around.

 

This is not an iPod Touch
Pretty cool, huh!

I agonised over this for quite a while, but in the end decided that we would get our eldest his much desired iPod Touch for Christmas, but with the following rules:

  • It doesn’t go to bed with him at night
  • It doesn’t go to school
  • In term time, the same rules will apply for the iPod Touch as for the Wii – Friday to Sunday only
  • He has an Apple ID for iTunes/the app store but he doesn’t know the password (i.e. I get to see what he’s downloading)
  • He has an email address which is also set up on my computer  for the moment
  • I have used the IOS settings to manage the allowed content for Safari, apps, music and video (general/settings/restrictions)
  • I have locked the Safety Mode on YouTube through Safari (you can do this by signing into your google account on the relevant device/browser, activating the lock, and then signing out again – this also enables & locks Safesearch on Google)
  • I have set the filter to strict on the You Tube app (I haven’t figured out how to lock this yet – if there is a way please let me know!)

I’m hoping this is a sensible approach to letting an 8 year old loose with an internet enabled device. What do you think? Is it too control freakish? Or on the other hand should kids not have these things until they are older? And as always, If you’ve been there and done that, I’d welcome your accumulated wisdom!

Thanks for reading,

Michelle