Category Archives: LearnerMother

World Book Day Epic Fail

World Book day Epic Fail

There are some things in life which I swear are created solely to make mothers feel inadequate and useless, and World Book Day falls squarely into that category in my opinion. Along with spots and stripes day for Children in Need. Pyjama days – now THOSE I can cope with it, although we should perhaps gloss over the fact that I managed to send the kids to school in their school uniform for that as well last term, because I was a week out in my planning. Still, could have been worse, I could have been a week out in the other direction, right?

So World Book Day has been a complete disaster. My eldest point blank refused to contemplate dressing up because it was ‘stupid’. In vain I tried to come up with people for him to dress up as – the Demon Dentist? Wimpy Kid? Horrid Henry? Charlie from the Chocolate Factory? No – none of these fitted the bill. Then finally – ever the creature of habit – at bedtime yesterday he said ‘fine, I’ll go as James and the Giant Peach again’ – except I foolishly didn’t keep last year’s Giant Peach and we had nothing big enough to magic one up.

‘Right’ says he.’This is my LAST WORD on the subject – I’ll be Timmy.’

‘Timmy…which Timmy?’

‘Timmy from the Famous Five, of course!’

Well, if I can’t magic up a giant peach at 8pm at night, I sure as hell can’t magic up a flipping doggy costume…after much more discussion we finally settled upon Dennis the Menace – I am not sure if comic characters count for World Book Day but frankly I’ll take what I can get on this one, so Dennis the Menace it was. Except this morning he said he was too cold to wear shorts – can’t blame him, really. So he basically went to school in his school uniform with a red and black top that he grew out of 2 years ago. World Book Day Epic Fail Number One.

My daughter views World Book Day completely differently – she practically inhales any book she can get her hands on. The whole process of choosing a costume was much more fun, and over the week we’ve we discussed the relative merits of Amelia Jane, A Little Princess, Anne from the Famous Five, any of the Colour Fairies or Rainbow Fairies, as well as what I’d call traditional Fairy Tale characters but what she calls Disney Princesses…we’d finally settled on the Worst Witch. Yay! A fun costume that she was excited about, that I could manage easily, AND that I could take a picture of for all those totally-not-competitive-at-all pre 9am Facebook posts…and then we received a text from school to say that because of their trip to Cardiff Castle, my daughter’s year would need to wear school uniform after all…World Book Day Epic Fail Number Two.

Thankfully, my youngest is still in nursery, so I didn’t have to worry about a costume for him….though he would have been the easiest of the lot, given that we have a dressing up box full of superhero outfits, all of which he loves, and will wear at the slightest excuse. So imagine his distress (and my shame) when we rocked up to the Nursery entrance – to find it chock full of superheros.  FFS. World Book Day Epic Fail Number Three.

Don’t know about you lot, but I’m glad the whole shebang is done with for another year!

As you can see there really isn’t much hope for me in the motherhood skillz arena. But  if you think I’m a (slightly) better blogger than a mother, please feel free to nominate me in the MAD Blog Awards ‘Best New Blogger’  category – just click on the pretty pic below….THANK YOU!

MAD Blog Awards

I’m getting on a plane (without my kids!)

On Friday, I’m doing something that I feel a bit – a lot – weird about. I’m getting on a plane without my kids!  My friend and fellow blogger BeachLifeEtc and I are going to Northern Ireland to visit another friend for the weekend. No kids, no partners – we have arranged this weekend for no other reason but that we fancy doing it.

I don’t feel weird about going away without my kids – wider family commitments have taken me away quite a lot over the last year. They didn’t like it much at first but understood the reasons for me going, and got used to having lots of bonus Daddy time.

This time, my going away has been a bit more tricky to explain – I had a chat with my daughter last week that went something like this…

‘So who are you going to visit, Mum?’

‘Two old friends who I don’t see enough of’

‘Oh – what’s wrong with them, are they ill?’

‘No…’

‘Is one of them having a baby and needs some help, then?’

‘Err…no’ (at least I flipping hope not – there is Guinness to be drunk in Ireland you know!)

‘Oh, I know, is it another one of those fewn-fewl-foon – well, you know those things you have when people die?’

‘No sweetheart, it’s not a funeral’.

Silence. Then,

‘So if you don’t need to help anyone and there are no babies and nobody is dead, why are you going away then?’ *Hard stare*

OH THE GUILT….

My rational head tells me that I need this, that I deserve it even. I know that making an effort to have a break every now and then, and do something for ME will make me a better mother.

I also know that friendships deserve time and effort. To be brutally honest, my efforts at being a friend have been on hold to a greater or lesser extent while I have navigated the last few years. Either because my friends have kids themselves and are in the same boat, or because they don’t and therefore I’ve felt far too boring and frumpy and kid-wrung-out to have the confidence to pick up the phone.

And guess what – I still feel kidknackered, boring and frumpy – but that isn’t going to change any time soon unless I make an effort to bring some non-child fun into my life, and I think it’s about time I girded my loins and did just that. So here’s to friends and seeing a bit more of them!

Aaaaahh...Guiness

Oh…still here? Well done, I always thought most people gave up half way through. Anyway, since you ARE still here, and if you’ve got nothing better to do, I’d absolutely love it if you felt that LearnerMother was worthy of a nomination for ‘Best New Blog’ in the MAD Blog Awards….THANK YOU!

MAD Blog Awards

The Husband was right…

I was TOTALLY going to be cool about this, and pretend it wasn’t happening and all. But it turns out that my inner self is not going to allow that, by any means, so I’m going to do it, but just once. And then we shall never speak about it again.

Yep, I’m on about the Mum and Dad Blog Awards. When I started this shizzle nearly a year ago, I didn’t know there was such a thing as blogging awards. Shortly afterwards the nominations came out for the MADS, and I happened to mention them to the Husband, whereupon he rolled his eyes surreptitiously. But not surreptitiously enough.

‘What?’

‘Nothing!

‘WHAT??’

‘It’s just I can see where this is going. You’re going to get all competitive with this blogging thing of yours, aren’t you? It’ll be another one of your missions, like when you decided you were going to beat Paula Radcliffe at the marathon after 2 weeks at running club, or that you were going to grow a record breaking prize marrow on the basis that you once managed to keep a cactus alive for a couple of weeks.’

Obviously I flounced off muttering something about not being competitive at all and that I was blogging for ME and no-one else and no, I wasn’t interested in awards, thank you very much, and what did he mean anyway, and so on and so forth, while he just smirked in an annoying ‘you know I’m right’  fashion.

I bloody hate it when he’s right.

Obviously I’m not aiming for an actual award – that would be foolish. But I would dearly love to get a nomination – not least because I’d have an excuse to go to a swanky do in London where there will be no kids and lots of beer.

I also bloody hate asking for favours.

So I’m just going to say this quickly and slightly embarrassedly – please please please would you consider nominating me in the ‘Best New Blog’ section? It’d have to be that one because the other categories are all about proper things like craft, or photography, or being entertaining, or heaven forbid BABIES and I am unashamedly rubbish at all those. Which also technically means it’s my only chance, ever, to get nominated because next year I won’t be new any more and *sobs* I’ll STILL be rubbish at craft and photography and I sure as hell ain’t having another baby at my age…Tell you what. I’ll shut up now.

Oh…except to say this – whether you nominate me or not, a massive THANK YOU for reading LearnerMother over the last 12 months 🙂

MAD Blog Awards