On Friday, I’m doing something that I feel a bit – a lot – weird about. I’m getting on a plane without my kids! My friend and fellow blogger BeachLifeEtc and I are going to Northern Ireland to visit another friend for the weekend. No kids, no partners – we have arranged this weekend for no other reason but that we fancy doing it.
I don’t feel weird about going away without my kids – wider family commitments have taken me away quite a lot over the last year. They didn’t like it much at first but understood the reasons for me going, and got used to having lots of bonus Daddy time.
This time, my going away has been a bit more tricky to explain – I had a chat with my daughter last week that went something like this…
‘So who are you going to visit, Mum?’
‘Two old friends who I don’t see enough of’
‘Oh – what’s wrong with them, are they ill?’
‘No…’
‘Is one of them having a baby and needs some help, then?’
‘Err…no’ (at least I flipping hope not – there is Guinness to be drunk in Ireland you know!)
‘Oh, I know, is it another one of those fewn-fewl-foon – well, you know those things you have when people die?’
‘No sweetheart, it’s not a funeral’.
Silence. Then,
‘So if you don’t need to help anyone and there are no babies and nobody is dead, why are you going away then?’ *Hard stare*
OH THE GUILT….
My rational head tells me that I need this, that I deserve it even. I know that making an effort to have a break every now and then, and do something for ME will make me a better mother.
I also know that friendships deserve time and effort. To be brutally honest, my efforts at being a friend have been on hold to a greater or lesser extent while I have navigated the last few years. Either because my friends have kids themselves and are in the same boat, or because they don’t and therefore I’ve felt far too boring and frumpy and kid-wrung-out to have the confidence to pick up the phone.
And guess what – I still feel kidknackered, boring and frumpy – but that isn’t going to change any time soon unless I make an effort to bring some non-child fun into my life, and I think it’s about time I girded my loins and did just that. So here’s to friends and seeing a bit more of them!
Oh…still here? Well done, I always thought most people gave up half way through. Anyway, since you ARE still here, and if you’ve got nothing better to do, I’d absolutely love it if you felt that LearnerMother was worthy of a nomination for ‘Best New Blog’ in the MAD Blog Awards….THANK YOU!
