On personal space

I have been trying to kick back a bit at home lately, and not be constantly rushing around doing chores and admin. It’s all part of my trying not to sweat the small stuff, and generally trying to be a more chilled out and less stressy person to be around.

There’s been some good things about this – for example I have learnt that the world does not stop if I do not  empty the dishwasher the minute it finishes. (It does stop, a tiny bit, if the dirty dishes are not put in the dishwasher the minute the meal is over, but hey – small steps and all that.)

But one thing that is definitely NOT good about all this flipping chilling out is the vastly increased opportunities this gives my kids, big and small, to use me as some sort of human climbing frame. I mean what is with this constant bloody mauling? I cannot sit down anywhere, for one SECOND, without someone clambering all over me. I don’t mean coming for cuddles – I cherish the cuddling – it’s one of the best things about being a Mum. No, what I mean is the pulling at my hair ‘to see if it will get longer’, the fiddling with my earrings, the climbing on to my shoulders, the poking at my tummy to see if there is another baby in there (THERE IS EFFING WELL NOT), the sliding down my legs and demanding ‘giddy up horsey’.  If I happen to have the laptop, or the iPad, yes, those things that I saved up for, for bloody ages, and which, might I remind everyone in this family, are actually MINE, then without a shadow of a doubt there will be a head pushing its way under my arm or over my shoulder to see what I am doing, and if I am not doing it quick enough, then a hand swiping at the screen ‘to help, because I know how to do it quicker than you, because you’re quite old’ – yeah, THANKS.

Sometimes I wonder if there is some sort of magnetic force field around me. It does not matter how happily ensconced and absorbed they are, the nanosecond that my tired backside comes within an inch of a seat of any description (yes, this does include the loo seat – note to self – BUY LOCK)…as I was saying, my ass, a sitting device, line ’em up and it’s like one of those reversing sensors go off on my kids’ heads. BEEEEP she’s lowering herself BIPBIPBIP oh no, false alarm, she forgot her beer, BEEEP she’s back BEEEP it looks like we’ll have docking this time without any further hitches,  BEEEEP she’s braced for impact  BEEEEPBEEEPBEEEP and she’s down! And not one second after the P of the final BEEEP and they all appear, literally from nowhere, they just come out of the walls or something, ready for some pawing/pulling/poking action on whatever part of me they get to first. FFS.

This grates a bit, as the day goes on. Sometimes I get to the evening and I feel that if I come into physical contact with one more living creature, that I might actually implode. This is bad news for the cat, who waits till they’re all in bed before slinking in and demanding fuss from me; it’s also bad news for the Husband, though at least they can console each other whilst shooting hurt and mournful looks at me. As long as they are doing it from the other side of the room, that’s just fine. Get any closer and I might get violent.

Is it just my kids? Do they grow out of it?? Or should I resign myself to the fact that nothing, NOTHING, not even my elbows FFS, are mine any more?



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14 thoughts on “On personal space

  1. Even now most of mine are teenagers , but still if I sit down , boom , someone is next to me , looking at what I’m doing , touching my hair , laying on me , if I come up to my room for a bit of peace you can bet your life on it 2 minutes later there will be at least 3 kids in my room laying on my bed squashing me.

  2. Yup. Me too. They now fight over getting on to me. Right now @ 6.08 am matthew is casual sprawled sideways across me whilst jen is grabbing at my legs and working her way up to claim her space ( ‘theres always room for two on mummy’). Then if I dare to sit on the floor you can garuntee matthew reverses up for the leap on to my back…we are teaching him to ask first. As for being a firemans pole……

  3. It’s the same here. I adore my kids, but seriously, even in the bathroom they are all over me like a rash, and the cats are just as bad… You are not alone!

  4. Grace is now 6 and a half and has improved *a bit*. She is not constantly on me, just regularly. She is starting to play nicely in her room with her Barbies and Monster High Girls but when she is doing that I generally have time to do the household chores. I generally get the same in the evening with the cat, OH, etc too! Completely empathise with you. Thanks for linking to PoCoLo x

  5. Oh no! This doesnt sound right!!

    It will come as no consolation, I know….. but when they become teenagers you will be lucky if you get a grunt out of them. Let alone eye contact.

    For weeks at a time

    1. The thing is, I grumble and grab but I have left them half an hour ago and won’t see them again till Monday, and I am already missing them! I need to remind myself that this won’t be for ever and when they hit teenagerhood I’ll miss this stage.

  6. exactly, they do grow up way too fast. So enjoy this time. Maybe just say sit next to you not ON you, so you keep them close but not over you like a rash! I used to call mine ankle biters as they were always around my ankles! How times have changed. Mine are teens but they still like their cuddles. x

    1. Oh I know and the awful thing is I spend about half my time worrying about how it is all going too fast!! I DO love the cuddles, and hope they’ll still want them for years yet. Though they may not if they ever read this post :/

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