On sleeping teeshirts

The Husband turned to me with a serious look.

‘I need to talk to you’

To me? What about? Are the kids ok?

‘They’re fine. They are all sitting on you, so obviously they’re fine.’

‘Oh. I hadn’t noticed. Well, what then?’

‘It’s about, well I’m not really sure how to say this. It’s about…’

Panic sets in. What is it? What’s happened? What on earth can be so serious that we need to TALK? Things are tough right now – but surely we’re not at THAT stage yet?

‘What??’ The kids are listening in too now, with wide, interested eyes.

‘It’s just…do you think you could do something about your sleeping teeshirts?’

Confused now. ‘Do what with them? You mean, like sew up the holes? Or label them so the kids don’t wear them to school by mistake?’

‘Um, I was thinking more of, say, burning them’.


‘Yeah, what’s wrong with Mummy’s sleeping teeshirts? They’re nice and soft and cuddly and they smell of her, AND you can see her bottom in some of them!’

Hilarity all round as the kids contemplate bottoms for a bit and pretend to be the bottom loving minion from Despicable Me 2. ‘Bottom. Bottom. Mr Ramsbottom. Bottom’.

‘Seriously, what is wrong with my sleeping teeshirts? They’re what I sleep in! Every night! What the hell ELSE am I supposed to wear in bed? My DAYTIME teeshirts?’

(Brief pause to consider whether this might make the morning routine less stressful. Decide that it would but it’d be a bit gross, so reluctantly dismiss the idea).

The husband is squirming a bit as I turn to face him.

‘Seriously, we’ve been together HOW LONG and NOW you are having a pop at my sleeping teeshirts?’

‘Seventeen years’ (mournfully). ‘And I HAVE thought about mentioning them before, but there never seemed to be the right moment. I just didn’t want to cause any upset’.

‘WHY DO YOU ASSUME I’LL OVER-REACT TO EVERYTHING?’ Deep breath. ‘I LIKE my sleeping teeshirts. My Campaign against Nestle one! My Mickey mouse one! My one with 21st birthday messages written on it! I’ve had them all since before I met you and I’m not ditching them NOW!’

‘Ok, ok, just a thought, calm down, here, have some chocolate, no, actually have some gin.’

And that, I thought was the end of that.

‘LIPSTICK TAZER!’ The kids have moved on now to acting out their second favourite Despicable Me 2 scene. Relieved that we’ve moved on from the whole sleeping teeshirt conversation, I join in.

‘Lipstick Tazeerrr!’

‘YEAH! Let’s lipstick tazer Mummy! We could get her right on her BOTTOM, you know, the big bit that hangs down from her sleeping teeshirts!’

The husband appears to have a coughing fit, and refuses to meet my eyes.

My spirit is broken. I am now on the hunt for something which is not a Sleeping Teeshirt. Any suggestions?

I’m linking up for the first time ever to Actually Mummy’s Wots So Funnee link…pop along and have a laugh at some other posts that are, you know, funny!

Wot So Funee?

Like this? You might also like these:

  • Three and a half daysThree and a half days So something a bit weird is happening on Friday afternoon. In fact, a lot weird. At around 3pm the Husband and I will be leaving for three and a half days away, without the kids. Three and […]
  • On coming out of the tunnelOn coming out of the tunnel I'm sure there are lots of people who won't be able to relate to the Tunnel, and if you're one of them, please feel free to be relieved and/or smug that it wasn't like that for you. Just […]
  • Blogging and kidsBlogging and kids I had a message from someone the other day in response to a post on my blog; it was a private message, because as she said, ‘my elder two don’t need to see their mother’s issues on social […]

11 thoughts on “On sleeping teeshirts

  1. Oh and just to add to the conversation of clothing I have one very sexy red one for the lucky ones, it was very expensive for my usual liking, and then I have three very old ones for sleeping just on my own- they have moth holes, washed out butterflies and flowers and my mum gave them to me years ago…too many years ago…but they serve the purpose so why should I chuck them. No one is judging them yet…
    katdesigner recently posted…Day 16: My new interior design and diy corner of knowledge! 76 days to go!My Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *