On delegation versus dictation

Family, LearnerMother, , ,

When we had son number one, we both had proper grownup jobs. We decided that I’d stay home as long as was feasible, so I didn’t go back to work, and we fell into the traditional roles – him breadwinner, me breadmaker. (That’s a lie. Perhaps I should say breadshopper). This was fine by me – I assumed that I’d go back to work eventually and that we’d re-evaluate roles at that point.

Fast forward a few years, and we have a 3 yo, a 5yo and a 7yo. We’ve owned a coffee shop for 5 years, (now sold), and set up a board games shop with a friend 3 years ago. But in essence, our roles have remained separate – he has gone ‘out’ to work at one or other of the shops, while I have done the business support & admin at home – and kept the home fires burning. But now I’m gradually finding my feet again in a career sense. I’ve worked on a couple of projects over the last year, and since Christmas have been working 3 days a week on quite a full-on contract, plus Saturdays in the shop, as well as the odd bit of consultancy, a fair chunk of shop admin, oh, and keeping the home fires burning.

Yeah, yeah, I’d like to be superwoman too. But I’m not, and so, despite my control freakery, something has had to give, and since they might notice in the office if a 6 foot grumpy git turned up instead of a caffeinated midget, I can’t exactly delegate that. I could give up my Saturdays on the shop but b)I want to keep my hand in and a)I get to go for a beer after work. Which leaves us with the home fires. And in theory that doesn’t pose a problem – the husband can be flexible in the hours he works, and he has, when pressed, hard, with a hot poker, expressed his willingness to help.

So – I’ve explained the rules. I’ve set up a shared calendar, introduced him to our household management plans on Workflowy, explained the importance of food planning (for which I use the excellent Mealboard by the way). I have left NOTHING to chance – my handover plan was a masterpiece. There is no possible way that anyone could cock this up – literally every eventually is accounted for.

Imagine my surprise when, after listening carefully to my instructions, and appearing to take them all in, (though he was watching The Wire at the time so it is possible that he was concentrating a little bit on that too), none of them were followed! Not a single one. There’s wii on school  mornings, sweets after school AND NOT JUST ON FRIDAYS, they suddenly all know (and love) the word fart, and a pizza apparently counts for at least three of their 5 a day.  To say this is winding me up is an understatement – I’ve spent 8 years on this – he’s been on it for about 8 weeks and already it’s falling apart!

Except for rule 1 – Do not lose any of them. He has kept to that.

Despite the terrible trauma of losing all the systems they have ever known, the kids seem quite chilled. So far, they are showing no signs of malnourishment – in fact I’d go so far as to say that my daughter has become distinctly less fussy when it comes to food. Annoyingly, they are late for school less often now than they used to be (I’d always be thinking I’d got time to get a wash on, or load the dishwasher, or something – and then it’d be 5 to nine and I’d be yelling like a banshee). And though there is definitely more wii/tv time than I’d like, they also get a healthy dose of non-electronic games and jigsaws and den building and general kid stuff – all of which I am pretty shit at, because my mind is always fast forwarding on to the next household task/meal/washing load to be done. Whereas the male mind (or at least my male’s mind) does not seem to do that.

So for now I am going to try not to stress about all the stuff that isn’t being done my way. Or possibly get therapy for it. We’ll see. *twitches uncontrollably*

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PS – Husband – this does not in any way imply acceptance of, or approval of, non-qualified methods. And I reserve the right to say ‘I told you so’ at the first sign of delinquency.

PPS – don’t even try to negotiate on rule 1.

On Legoland Windsor – the good, the awesome, the bad and the ugly.

Family, Reviews, , , , , ,

 

We are back! Amazingly, the kids did not have a clue – we woke them up early ‘to go swimming before it gets too busy’ and bless them, they bought it hook, line and sinker. Until we hit the M4, when ‘Daddy’s short cut’ just didn’t cut it any more. It was lovely listening to them wondering where we were going – in fact it made for such a peaceful journey that I am thinking of making all trips mystery ones from now on!

So – the good. To be fair – this was most of it – Legoland does what it does really well, there was plenty to keep all of them happy – and the kids are close enough in age, that they all wanted to go on pretty much the same things. My favourite was the ‘Atlantis Experience’, where you get to go in a ‘submarine’ alongside sharks, rays, and all manner of sealife – and it was warm! One benefit of the weather being absolutely fecking freezing was that there were no queues for anything at all – which meant that by the time the kids got too cold to stay outdoors, they’d done enough rides that they were happy to head back to the hotel.

We’d booked early enough to get a really good deal at the Lego Hotel in the park – this proved to be a good move, as after coming in from the park we were able to take the kids into the pirate pool – with all the watershooters and fountains any kid (or Dad) could want. The hotel itself was brilliantly set up for kids, with a massive lego pit in reception, a pretty big play castle area in the main dining area and – my kids favourite – a whoopee cushion in the carpet. Hours of fun for them all – and, er, Dad.

The awesome – well, the awesome has to be the rooms. We’d booked a Pirate Room, and it was fab! The designers really had gone to town, with everything very properly pirate indeed. There was even a treasure hunt for the kids, giving them a code which opened a pirate treasure chest with lego goodies in. And someone had thoughtfully put a box of Duplo in the room for the three year old – a wasted effort since he scorns any baby versions of toys, but a good thought all the same! Here they are in their pirate alcove. By the way, they are absolutely not watching TV so I can have 5 minutes peace – no siree, I’m a much better mother than that. They are admiring the pirate wallpaper. But there is also a TV, right where they are looking, just in case you wanted to know.

The bad – well, the bad was the cold. And there isn’t that much that the lego gods can do about that, so we’ll let that pass.

And the ugly. I’m afraid there was an ugly, and it was the food – or rather the food prices. After our first trip to Legoland back in 2009, I wrote a review somewhere (I can’t find it now) that said something like ‘the food isn’t that great, but it’s not terrible, and it’s not as overpriced as you might expect’. Well, the food is still in ‘not great, but not terrible’ territory. But look at the prices:

Legoland

That’s £45 for a very average lunch for a family of 5 – three of whom are aged 7 or under! A similar deal in Pizza Hut would have set us back £26. But the kids were cold, and hungry, so I gulped and paid. And it was more of the same in the hotel in the evening – £18.95 for adults, and £9.95 for children, for a Harvester style buffet, plus drinks on top, if the adults among you don’t fancy Coke, lemonade or fizzy orange. Nearly £70 seemed a lot to me – so we took an executive decision to pile the kids into the car and try our luck in Windsor. We ended up in Nandos, because it seemed unstuffy enough to cope if the kids had a meltdown – since it was the first time we’d EVER braved an evening meal out with the three of them, we figured it might be wise to play it safe. It was a great success actually – and it came in at £50, though to be fair a tenner of that was beer for the adults. That is to say, the adults not including the designated driver, so, umm, me. Well anyway. It was far better value than the hotel. And the kids loved it, as you can see by the exemplary behaviour of the biggest one.

Legoland

So, there you are. The good, the awesome, the bad and the ugly. I’d definitely recommend Legoland – it’s great value, especially if you do some hunting around for discount deals. And paying extra to stay in the Lego hotel is a sensible investment at any time of year, given the uncertainty of the weather in these parts. But if it’s warm enough, pack a picnic for the daytime, and then eat out in the evening, or you’ll end up with a ginormous hole in your pocket.

On Legoland and Workflowy

Family, Reviews, , , , , ,

It’s this week! The kids have no idea at all!

They are all coming back from their grandparents this afternoon, and I am feeling not at all like myself, having a)had an evening out with the husband, b)slept till 11am and c) had breakfast in bed….anyway, that’s beside the point. What I wanted to do with this post is share a really useful tool, that I started using for work ages ago and, pretty quickly adopted for home life too.

It’s a free app called Workflowy , available through your browser, or as an Android/IOS app. It is amazingly simple – but incredibly effective. For work, I use it as a brain dump to organise my thoughts before writing a project plan, and then to keep track of progress. For home, I am using it as a basis for the House Project  – but I also use it for packing for trips – here’s my Legoland list for example. Depending on when you’re reading this there may even be some items crossed out!!   The link I’ve shared is non-editable by others – but you can share editable lists too – which is incredibly useful if, unlike me, you don’t mind people messing with your carefully crafted system. And it doesn’t matter if I’m out and about, and think of something, because it syncs to my phone – how cool is that! (I admit that I am coming late to technology, and such clever things as syncing still amaze me!!!)

OK – I should probably make a start on the actual packing bit now. But if you want to know more, check out this video – and I’d love to hear about anything similar that you use – tweet @michelledavis or comment below!